This week has been another busy one. Deadlines, general family life & just spending time together has taken centre stage this week.
No fancy meals this week. For those of you who come here for the food then head to my instagram. I try to update that daily. There might even be some actual cooking videos coming soon if I can get past the fear!
There isn’t much to update on. We’ve not spent any extra money this week. We have spent more time outdoors though in thanks to the lovely weather we’ve been having on the East coast of Scotland. However, I thought I would do a quick update on my achievements within the past year. The reason will become clear further on. At the start of lockdown number 1 we were full of hilarity (See below 😆) making Tiktok videos, playing games and spending a lot of time outdoors. This didn’t last. It became tedious!
Recently, while listening to a Spotify playlist called powerful women our oldest child remarked that it was me. I was taken aback. When she nominated me for an award at her school and listed the reasons why I actually cried! I’m never great at accepting compliments. I’m one of those who when asked to pick out my faults can do it easily but ask what I am good at and it is usually practical things such as cooking or cleaning. My daughter pointing out to me all the things I do and I am gave me a bit of a reality check. I’ve joked that during home schooling has been a nightmare. However, I’ve come to realise during conversation with her that even though I don’t feel I have done an awful lot during the past year I have.
After everything in the news recently coupled with this comment it made me think deeply about what makes me, well me! I can tell you I didn’t feel very powerful or actually very good at anything when I started this process. In fact, I have felt like a bit of a failure for most of my adult life. Failing mental health just exacerbated this. By the end of the process I did feel like a powerful woman!
My achievements according to my daughter:
- I cook nice meals every night. I make proper lunches and on a Sunday they get a cooked breakfast.
- I keep the house clean and make sure they always have clean clothes.
- I am doing my Uni work.
- I am making sure they both do their school work every day even when they don’t want to.
- I decorated the whole house.
- I do all of the gardening.
- I take them to the park and on walks.
- I take them on holiday.
- I have saved lots of money.
- I spend time with them.
- I am fun.
Listening to these I started to see everything I do. I don’t just get up and clean. I’m studying for a degree, bringing up 2 fantastic children, making sure I provide them with a safe and nurturing environment and still able to squeeze in having fun! Oh and I’ve saved A LOT of money over the past 9 weeks! Next week will be the update on our savings and I am super excited! When you think you’re failing at life. You aren’t! It’s just taking a bit to get there. These experiences make you who you are. Could I have completed my degree 11 years ago? Yeah, I could have but I wouldn’t have had my beautiful children. Could I have started saving money earlier? Yeah, sure could have but at the time we had great experiences spending that money and the time wasn’t right.
I believe there is a right time for everything and for me this is the time. I have seen more change in myself during my 2 years in my 30’s than I did during the rest of my adulthood! In 2 years I have stopped smoking (2 years on Friday), I’m a year away from graduating uni, I’ve finally started to save, I’m happy, I’m in a wonderful marriage, My children bring me joy every day (Unless they’re complaining about something 🤣) and I finally feel like I am enjoying life. I’ve got my diet (Not on a diet just eating better than ever!) under control, My clothes are more comfortable and I feel happy being me! Oh and I’ve submitted another assignment! This week I am smashing it! I’m learning to love myself. Yes, I will have stressful days but I’m learning to pick out the little things that make it a good day and focus on those! For example, My skin isn’t perfectly clear (I know right! 32 and still have awful hormonal skin🙄), I’ve dark circles under my eyes and my kids are spending the whole day on their tech but you know what…I finished my assignment and submitted it, I got dressed, my children are fed and happy and I managed a workout. This is a good Sunday! I would never have uploaded a photo of me makeup free online but i’ve found myself doing it a lot lately. I no longer care what others think! This is me. I am needing my eyebrows waxed, probably could do with washing my hair and i’ve got fine lines appearing on my face. You know what though?! My face tells my story.
Some of these things might seem small and insignificant but to actually have some recognition for those little things meant a lot to me. Everybody needs to be kind to themselves. If you’re struggling then ask someone else what you’re good at, what your best qualities are. You’ll see that you mean much more to others than you will ever realise. You are worth it! You are powerful!